General

Pickup Lines

Posted by Nerd & Lace on

Aloha y’all!

In a moment of utter boredom last night, and not being able to do anything because it’s so bitter cold outside and I hate cold weather, I started looking for random pickup lines LOL! Yeah I don’t know it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Any who, here are some that kept me laughing my head off. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

PIRATE PICKUP LINES

  • “I must be huntin’ treasure, ’cause I’m diggin’ yer chest.”
  • “You’re just the tasty wench I’ve been keeping me eye out for!”
  • “Hey, sexy — how about a Jolly Rogering?”
  • “Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber.”
  • “See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby.”
  • “WOW! I bet we could fit SIXteen men on that chest!”
  • “Me skull and crossbones arn’t the only thing I plan on raisin’ tonight.”
  • “Do ya mind if the parrot watches?”
  • “Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin’?”
  • “Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded.”
  • “So you’re the new cabin boy, eh?”
  • “Do you have the latest copy of Windows XP with cracked product activation?” (software pirates only)
  • “Yo, ho! Bottle of rum?”
  • “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you free on Saturday?”
  • “Is there an ‘X’ on the seat of your pants? Because it appears that there’s wond’rous booty buried underneath!”Sent via BlackBerry

RENAISSANCE PICKUP LINES

  • “Hey, Princess, you wouldn’t happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?”
  • “Been there, slain that.”
  • “What’s a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?”
  • “They don’t call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.”
  • “When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren’t the only thing they stretched.”
  • “Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor.”
  • Wench: “What’s that sound?” Knight: “That’s just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding.”
  • “Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!”
  • “Your hovel or mine?”
  • “Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in action?”
  • “Dost thou practice safe hex?”
  • “Milady, it’s not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within.”
  • “I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart.”
  • “You should be glad I’m not a Viking.”
  • “You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.”
  • “I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I’m walking on!”
  • “Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?”
  • “You won’t believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you…the fate of England depends on it!!”
  • “I’m really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?”
  • “My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it.”
  • “I’ve been VERY NAUGHTY. You’ll have to put me in the stocks and…er…PUNISH me, now won’t you?”
  • “You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Rapunzel. Only it wasn’t my hair that the queen asked me to let down.”
  • “I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m’lady.”
  • “C’mon, sweetie…didn’t your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away.”

ZOMBIE PICKUP LINES

  • “You know that Cranberries song is about me.”
  • “What I’m really most attracted to in a woman is her brain…. brains….BRAINS!”
  • “Once rigor mortis sets in I can go *all* night!”
  • “Your grave or mine?”
  • “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven or was it when I ate your brains?”
  • “Nice eyes. Can I eat ’em?”
  • “What’s a decomposing, maggot infested girl like you doing in a mausoleum like this?”
  • “Do you have any zombie in you? Would you like some?”
  • “So, do you come to this dark, deserted, haunted graveyard often?”
  • “I’m a walking stiff! I don’t need Viagra!”
  • “I would give my right arm for a night with you. Here, take it!”
  • “I like your face. I’d like it even better crumpled on my bedroom floor in the morning.”
  • “Is that a wooden stake, or are you just happy to see me?”
  • “If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me and let me eat it?”

Who knew there were Zombie pickup lines LMAO! If you have any that’ll you’ll like to add, just leave a comment and I’ll add it to the list. Of course I’ll give you credit. So leave you Twitter @name 😉

It’s hump day! Hope you have a good one!

ps- Who’s done Christmas shopping? NOT ME!

Leave a comment